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The black hole of what if

My girlfriend and I recently had a conversation about our relationship. We discussed how it came about by meeting at a local gym playing basketball. But, we proposed a question to each other. What if neither one of us had ever gone to that gym?

The black hole of what if

What if?

Ahh. The age-old question. Over centuries, many individuals prompt the question of what if? What if the sky wasn’t blue? What if birds didn’t fly? What if my Mom and Dad didn’t meet? Would I be here?

Since we were kids, we’ve asked questions. Make no mistake about it; finding answers by asking questions is one of the best learning tools known to man. You come to learn and grow by asking questions.

“Questioning is the very boat that gets you from one place of understanding to another.”

Yet, to take this notion further, we must ask ourselves, is there such a thing as too much questioning? I’ve sat in my car with a friend before, and we talked about how, if things went another way, even for a split second, our night could have gone entirely different, let alone our lives. The dark hole was waiting for us with an enticing treat, and we jumped right in.


My friend and I entered the dark hole. It started as we discussed how if different things had taken place throughout our night, we would have had a different experience. But then, we started talking about how one little thing could change everything. To give a bit of a background, I met this friend at summer camp when I was 12 years old. We cemented our friendship, but, unfortunately, he moved abroad, and I wouldn’t see him again for years. So, what happened?

His parents decided to move back to Florida, and we picked up where we left off. What intrigued my friend and me was the question of what if? What if his parents didn’t decide to come back? Then, at that very moment, we wouldn’t be sitting in my car. We wouldn’t be having a conversation about how if they didn’t choose to come back, we wouldn’t be sitting here, either. It’s like the space-time continuum.

My girlfriend, as mentioned above, is another example. We met while playing basketball at a gym. What if, for whatever reason, we never talked on the very day that started it all? Would we be together? Would we still have found a way to begin our relationship? Once again, the dark hole was waiting for us, and we leaped.

We started to discuss every bit of our relationship. All of the details, minute and gigantic. Specifically, we focused on our first night out together and how we rubbed legs when we sat next to each other. If we never rub legs, do we ever end up together?


My girlfriend and I grew up in the same city. We’re both in our mid-twenties. So how is it that we’ve never crossed paths before? Well, we live in a reasonably large city, so maybe that’s why. However, we could’ve crossed paths before and didn’t even know it.

We started to talk about how we had been to all the same places growing up—the same entertainment venues, restaurants, parks, etc. Yet, we had never met. Which prompted the question, if we had met at some other point in our lives, would we have gotten together? A myriad of factors, such as our relationship status at the time, self-growth, etc., would’ve played a role. As you can see, there are endless amounts of what if’s you can ask. But what’s for sure is fate.


You could talk for an insurmountable amount of hours about how your life would be different if this happened or that happened. I’ve done it with my girlfriend multiple times, but we always end up at the same destination. That destination, and the answer to all what if’s, is fate.

“What’s meant to be, will. What’s not, won’t.”

You cannot force fate. Life will happen to you in many forms. Whether it’s the removal of a toxic friendship that leads to the uncovering of a great one, or a job lay off that leads you to pursue your dreams. Either way, we only have so much control over our lives. Try as we might to make sound decisions, sometimes, it just doesn’t matter.

While you should always try your best and give it all you got, fate will play its role, whether you like it or not. If my friend never moved back to our hometown, our friendship would have never reconvened. If my girlfriend never comes to my gym, we may have never met. Especially for love scenarios, you’d like to think that, no matter what, you’d have found one another. I do believe in this, to an extent. I believe what’s meant to be yours will be.

Fate will always be a significant factor in our lives, and we must be cognizant of it. Its meaning has a mystique to it. Fate, just like the dark hole, can’t be surmised in words. The very foundation the farmer creates to lay out his plants and cultivate matters. He can pick the best time of year for growth and look to harvest as much as possible. Yet, he’s at fate’s whim and mercy. If one thing is for sure, it’s that fate will always run its course.

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