From the moment we are born, we are judged. Judged by our peers on how we look, dress, eat, and nearly anything else. With this judgment comes some good and some bad.
Have you battled with self-confidence, self-respect, or self-worth? If so, you’re not alone. Millions of people wage war on self-esteem issues with themselves every day. It’s likely one of the fiercest battles you’ll deal with throughout your life, but one worthwhile.
Rising self-esteem issues usually start with one thing, judgment. In your life, whose opinions matter to you? For many of us, it’s the people closest to us, such as our family, significant others, friends, etc. For others, it’s anyone who has a voice.
While freedom of speech is a beautiful thing, words have power. Whoever came up with the saying “sticks and stone will break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” must’ve lived in a past life because anyone living knows that words matter. Words have the power to lift you and put you down. They are the mightiest tool within the judgment of others.
How much you let them affect you also does.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see what others say you are? What others refer to you as or how they view you? These are genuine questions that deserve some thought.
“Your thoughts have as much, if not more power, than words.”
When someone speaks down on us, whether about our height, weight, the color of our skin, etc., we must remind ourselves this is coming from a place of pain or ignorance. It’s always easier said than done. Yet, when people throw stones at others, it’s often due to their insecurities. By putting others down, they feel they lift themselves up. It’s this kind of psychological warfare that takes place nearly every day.
So, what do you do when someone judges you?
What you can’t do is give power to their words. What you can do is turn the cheek. People who put others down for the sole purpose of avoiding their problems will inherently face a time when they must look within themselves, too. By taking control of your own words, thoughts, and actions, you prime yourself to start your journey to self-worth.
Self-worth is perhaps your greatest asset as a person. It gives you the ability to dictate your narrative. Rather than stooping down, doing things out of character, and changing who you are, you rise above. Once more,
You rise above.
Few opinions matter more than the one we have of ourselves. How can you rise above and boost your self-confidence? It’s not easy, I know. For starters, write down positive affirmations. Every day, write five things you like about yourself.
Gradually, over time, write down things you want to improve upon in yourself. The list isn’t a list of your flaws; rather, a guide for how to self-improve and boost your growth, as your perspective matters in the battle with self-esteem issues. No matter who you are, you can always change your perspective.
If nothing else, start searching. By searching deeper as to why people cast stones at you, you’ll feel a greater sense of relief knowing it’s not you, but likely their problems. Next, writing positive attributes about yourself can work wonders, if you let it. Don’t forget to have perspective and if there is something you don’t like about yourself, not because others don’t like it, but because you genuinely don’t, change it.
If you want to lose that stubborn belly fat, do it. If you wish to change your wardrobe, do it. If you want to become a better singer, do it. While we can often harness insults or judgment as fuel to our fire of self-improvement, don’t let your motivation be someone else. Your opinion of yourself is what matters most, so act like it. Not by proving someone else wrong and giving them the power, but by showing yourself, you can reach a goal, with or without the affirmation of others.
Most of all, don’t forget it’s a process. It took you a long time to acquire self-esteem issues, and it will be a while before you can get rid of them, so be gentle with yourself. Follow this, and you’ll be well on your way to shedding those self-esteem issues.