Can you vividly remember a time in your life where all you wanted was one specific thing? But eventually, when you received what you wanted, the newness wore off? We all have.
Every experience in life has that initial newness. You know, the one that enticed you in the first place. Maybe it’s love, a job, or how much money you make. Let’s look at the example of love first. Do you remember the first time you either saw or had feelings for your significant other? You likely had those jittery, nervous, butterfly feelings. The ones that make you sweat and turn your stomach inside out. Well, those feelings are a part of the initial newness you’ve come to know as a part of getting to know this person. Yet, over time, those feelings of newness dissipate. It doesn’t mean your feelings for the other person have lessened. In fact, at this point, if you have something real, they should’ve gained.
You see, after a while, things don’t necessarily change in a relationship; they evolve. The unfamiliar intricacies you navigated in getting to know your partner are typical now, and while some people view this as losing feelings, it can very much be the opposite. You’ve now broken down walls and uncovered many cobwebs of your partner’s past, allowing you to see the person for who they truly are, not just who they appear, or you want them to be. Another example is a job you accepted and began over a year ago. The initial newness of feeling good about yourself because you were selected, which gave you a boost of confidence, along with your higher paycheck and closer commute, have all had you jumping for joy over the past year.
However, as with anything in life, that initial exhilaration you felt wears off sooner or later. As the months went on, the job you waited so long to get came with more responsibility, and with it, more headaches. It’s the classic example of a kid receiving a shiny new toy for Christmas. A kid opens up a brand new remote control car on Christmas day and plays with it nonstop for the next few months. Gradually, over time, the toy loses its newness as the kid becomes used to playing with it, and eventually, the attention shifts elsewhere, and now the kid wants an electric scooter.
Many times, people attempt to find a reason why this happens. There isn’t necessarily a rhyme or reason as to why; it just takes place. Almost inherently, humans yearn for more than what their current circumstances represent, or for the kid, a shinier, newer toy. Another concrete example of this is money and the countless individuals who think the more money they have, the happier they’ll be. While money can help relieve tension and financial burdens, there are plenty of rich yet unhappy people. Why is this? Well, it goes back to the old saying, money can’t buy happiness. It simply can’t, and it never will.
The point here is that it isn’t a matter of if but when your initial feelings of newness wear off. Some people will try to tell you that if your butterfly feelings for your partner go away, you don’t love them anymore, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is, you develop with your significant other, and so do your feelings for each other. It’s all about perspective. Rather than focusing solely on physical attraction or expensive dates, you get to know the soul behind the person. When you accept that new position and a year later the newness wears off, switch things up. Propose a new idea to your supervisor or ask them to complete a project that’s outside of your wheelhouse.
If you have more money than ever before and decide to buy a new house that you love, don’t let that love fade so quickly over the next five years by only thinking about purchasing another. When the newness does wear off, because it will, enjoy what you have and find ways to appreciate everything you’ve worked relentlessly for and the experiences that have gotten you to this point. If one thing is for sure, it’s that searching for the feeling of newness won’t make you happy because it’s temporary. Real, true love, career progression, and financial literacy all involve one thing, appreciation for each and every moment along the way. Because on the other side of the newness fence lies the deep, meaningful ingredients to not only lead but sustain a happy, long-lasting life.