• Bobby Dye

How to deal with your emotions

Learning to deal with your emotions will be one of the hardest things you will ever do in this lifetime. It takes time, experience, and grit to deal with your emotions. Leave one of these factors out, and you are bound to fail.

Time


Everyone needs time to deal with their emotions. Some of us need more time deconstructing them, and others are more emotional by nature. We all have differences in how emotional we are and how we subsequently handle our emotions. If you ask me if time can positively affect your emotions and how you react to them, I’ll give you a resounding yes.


The saying time heals all applies here, where there’s somewhat of a gestation period after you experience something dramatic or traumatic. Meaning, what seemed like an enormous elephant in the room at the moment, will slowly dissipate into oblivion with time. Well, more like a hair follicle. Because you’ll remember it happened, but it’ll be so tiny and meaningless, you’ll control your emotional reactions to it in a much more healthy, productive manner.


The older you get, and the more you go through life, you realize every battle isn’t worth giving your energy to, and you’ll choose them more wisely. By doing so, you give yourself the ability to check your emotions at the door and focus on the ones that truly matter, because you won’t be spent giving your devotion to every single one.


Experience


Another saying, grow through what you go through, comes to mind. Because life and its experiences will never fall short of surprising you, and occasionally, forcing you to grow. There comes a certain point in your life where you can ultimately lean on past experiences to handle yourself better at the present moment.


You’ve probably been in situations where you had to deal with the ramifications of your horrible decision to react emotionally. Rather than taking a walk to calm yourself down after arguing with a friend, maybe you went and punched a wall and broke your hand. Or perhaps, instead of finding an outlet to let out your frustrations in a constructive manner after you broke up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you decided to shame them by posting insensitive, slanderous remarks on social media about them.


Differences


I’ve always viewed controlling emotions with this saying in mind; you can either control your emotions or let them control you. It’s compelling to me because you can quickly become a victim of your own actions and reactions. By this, I mean you could lose someone very close to you because every time they come to you in confidence and confide in you, you drop the ball and judge them, rather than putting yourself in the situation.

Often, we must play role reversal with any circumstance in our life. If we were in that position, would we make the same decision we condemn our friends for making? Maybe we would, or perhaps we wouldn’t. But the point is to remember that your friend, parent, or significant other isn’t you. We all have different ways of handling our emotions. It doesn’t mean your way is better than someone else’s simply because it works for you. What works for you may not work for someone else due to their own shared experiences and traumas.


Now, that’s not to say if you see your friend being self-destructive, and you believe you’ve found a better way for them to handle their emotions, you shouldn’t tell them. It just means to take off the judgment hat, and always be aware of the differences between you and someone you are trying to help.


Your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical; they go hand in hand. Because often, you can use your pent up emotions proactively by doing something physical. Whether working out, playing sports, or doing yard work, you can utilize your negative emotion for a positive outcome. By dealing with your emotions effectively, you become the controller. You’re human, and you will feel, there’s no doubting that. But don’t let your emotions get the best of you, because you dictate the emotional response you give, no one else does.


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