We all only have so much energy. We only have so much effort to give. Therefore, when it comes to choosing what and who you give your energy and time to, you must be selective in the process.
We’ve all argued with a close friend, family member, or significant other before. No one is perfect, and realizing so is the first step to understanding. Without recognition of imperfections in others and why they are the way they are, you’ll always be chasing after and longing for perfection. All of us are born into this world and, ultimately, molded and shaped by it. We don’t pick the circumstances we’re born into, either. So, it is our responsibility to adjust accordingly.
Part of adjusting to our environment as we grow older is picking and choosing which battles to entertain. Some battles, for better or worse, aren’t worth it. Going through any battle requires time. As time is our most valuable asset, we must use it sparingly. Too much time given to people or things that don’t value it will eventually lead to a level of regret and even sorrow.
They say knowing is half the battle, right? But if what you know is fluid and ever-changing, when do you ever really know? Recently, my girlfriend and I have gotten into many arguments, some big, some small. But now more than ever, we realize that, whether individually or as a couple, we must choose our battles wisely. A lack of communication leads to arguments, arguments lead to battles, battles lead to wars, and wars are often only won by one side. The reasoning behind why so many people have trouble picking battles and instead opt to take part in every one often comes from an inability to swallow their pride.
“Pride can be a great semblance of achievement. But unchecked, it can become destructive.”
Many of us take pride in the accomplishments we’ve made, the relationships we’ve built, and the growth we’ve had. Yet, as a rule for almost everything, too much of anything can be dangerous. When our pride is at an all-time high, we often refuse to let any idea or thought pour through any possible crack in its foundation. Because, to a prideful person, there are no cracks.
Meaning, there’s no room for improvement or to view others’ ideas. Being too prideful, stubborn, or hard-headed will lead you on a path to selfishness. Because the day you don’t think of anyone else and only care about your ideas and how you feel is the day your pride got too big for your britches.
You will never be able to maintain and keep a longstanding relationship without swallowing your pride. There is simply no way around it. At one point or another, each party in any relationship is at fault. At fault for a mistake. At fault for mistreating the other person. At fault for miscommunicating or not communicating at all. Why? The answer is simple; no one is perfect.
“In order to win the war together, you must choose your battles wisely.”
The path to a bountiful and fruitful relationship involves picking your battles carefully. We must urge ourselves and others in any relationship to look at the content of any conversation keenly. Lasting relationships are cultivated with understanding. So rather than jumping down each other’s throats for a mistake made, have compassion towards one another.
“Grace and humility often come together to make any relationship worthwhile.”
Without them, you can eventually expect any bond between two people to succumb to its circumstances or those involved in it. Why must we be so careful in choosing our battles? Well, if we entertain every single battle, we’ll never be able to enjoy the relationship for what it is because we’ll be too busy discussing and being consumed by mistakes made.
We will always make mistakes, and our ability to handle them as a team is what separates relationships that last and ones that don’t. On the contrary, if we never choose any battle, we’ll leave ourselves feeling desolate and uncared for, simply because our voices are never heard.
Like with almost anything in life, we must strike a balance. A balance that involves valuing yourself and the other person in the relationship enough to realize you are both wrong at times and that you collectively come together by wisely choosing which battles are meaningful to you, and which ones are worth letting go.